Searching for funny jokes for kids? We’ve got over 200 of the best kid-friendly jokes of all time. You’ll be LOL’ing right along with them.
Is there anything better than your child’s laughter? Whether it’s a giggle, a chuckle or a full belly laugh, hearing those sweet sounds makes everyone feel good.
We scoured the web to find the most epic kid’s jokes ever told – ones that actually make sense and need no explanation (because nothing crushes a punchline more than, “I don’t get it”!).
Whether you’re the one telling them to your kids to get a laugh, or they’re the ones making their friends crack up on the playground, this ultimate list of jokes for kids will brighten everyone’s day.
It includes the best clean, family-friendly jokes about school, sports, animals, food and much more. But we will warn you – we snuck in some potty humor at the end, so if that’s not your cup-of-tea, we get it. Just skip on by.
Enjoy these kids’ jokes and puns, they’re perfect for all ages from preschool to tween and teen – and you might just find yourself laughing too!
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JOKES FOR KIDS ABOUT ANIMALS
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
“This tastes funny.”
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer.
What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.
Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaa-hamas.
Why do birds fly?
It’s faster than walking.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A milkshake.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank!
What’s a cow’s favorite drink?
A s-moooo-thie.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What animal needs to wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck.
Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
What kind of haircuts do bees get?
Buzzzzcuts!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in-vest-igator!
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?
Because it’s bound to squeal.
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
They go to the moo-vies!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir?
Because she was a little horse.
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
“Pick a cod, any cod”.
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
Because he was a little shellfish.
What do you call a dinosaur with bad vision?
A Do-you-think-he-sarus.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Why do birds fly south?
It’s too far to walk.
Why did the chicken go the hospital?
Because it needed some tweatment!
What is more impressive than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrr-ple!
Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What is black and white and looks like a penguin?
A penguin.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
“Me-owww.”
What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A fur ball.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
Ruff!
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
Where do horses live?
In neighhh-borhoods.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
A bowl of Mice Krispies.
What do cats wear to bed?
Paw-jamas.
What is the dog’s favorite button on a remote?
Paws.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up!
What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
Hiss-tory
What do you call a dog who goes to the beach in the summer?
A hot dog.
What’s the smartest insect?
A spelling bee.
What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!
What’s the most famous fish?
A starfish!
Why can’t Leopards win at hide and seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
What do porcupines say when they kiss?
Ouch.
JOKES FOR KIDS ABOUT FOOD
Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because he felt crummy!
What do you call a cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese!
If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?
A bagel!
Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bagel.
What is the best day to visit McDonalds?
Fry-Day!
What’s the best thing to put into a pie?
Your teeth.
What do you get when you put cheese next to some ducks?
Cheese and quackers.
What kind of pizza do dogs eat?
Pup-eroni pizza!
What do you call a tired pea?
Sleep-pea.
What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Kids don’t eat broccoli!
What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
Cookies!
What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her parents were in a jam.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
Because he wanted to be a watermelon.
What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
JOKES FOR KIDS ABOUT SPORTS
What animal can you always find at a baseball game?
A bat!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Just in case he got a hole in one!
What do cakes and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter!
Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.
Why did the baseball player spend so much time at the playground?
He was working on his swing.
Why are fish had at playing tennis?
Because they always run when they see a net!
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What’s a ghost’s favorite position in soccer?
Ghoul keeper.
When is a baby good at basketball?
When it’s dribbling!
Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?
He heard someone had stolen a base!
What do cheerleaders eat for breakfast?
Cheer-ios!
What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A ball hog!
What Superhero always hits home runs?
Bat-man
Why are bullfights so noisy?
The bulls are always using their horns!
What did the coach say to the broken soda machine?
“Give me my quarter-back!”
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.
JOKES FOR KIDS ABOUT SCHOOL
What is the witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling!
Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems!
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it would be a piece of cake!
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What do aliens do when they’re bored in school?
They space out.
Why can’t the music teacher start his car?
His keys are on the piano.
What do you call a student who doesn’t like math class?
Calcu-hater.
What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Arrrrrrrrrrt.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
How do you get straight A’s?
You use a ruler!
What object is king of the classroom?
The ruler!
What do librarians use to catch fish?
Book-worms
Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!
Which state is the smartest?
Alabama – it has four As and one B!
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless!
Where do you go to school to learn how to greet people?
Hi school!
How do you make seven an even number?
Take away the “S”!
MORE FUNNY JOKES FOR KIDS
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shell-fies!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle
What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?
Lone-ly.
What button can’t be unbuttoned?
A belly button!
What flower do you wear on your face?
Tu-lips
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?
Pilgrims!
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant!
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear!
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!
Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Where do pencils come from?
Pennsylvania!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9!
Why did the teddy bear not want dessert?
Because he was stuffed!
How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.
Mr. Red and Mrs. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Mrs. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!
What’s black and white and red all over?
An embarrassed zebra.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin.
What’s white and black and read all over?
A newspaper
What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there’s no point.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
To find Pluto.
What kind of money do mermaids use?
Sand dollars.
What has 2 legs but can’t walk?
A pair of pants!
How does a train eat?
It goes “chew chew”
What did the red light say to the green light?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
How can you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner!
What do you call a man with a shovel?
Doug.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneak-ers!
What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A mush-room!
Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a thing?
A corn field.
What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between us, something smells!
What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?
It waves!
Why did the boy throw a stick of butter out the window?
Because he wanted to see a butter-fly!
How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?
You rocket!
What can you catch, but never throw?
A cold!
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What did the nose say to the finger?
Quit picking on me!
Who keeps the ocean clean?
The mer-maid.
What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?
A teapot!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
What do kids play when it’s raining outside?
Bored games.
What time is it when a ball goes through the window?
Time to get a new window.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What do knights do when they are scared of the dark?
They turn on the knight light!
What’s the loudest pet you can get?
A trum-pet!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball!
Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
Because she will let it go.
Why did Darth Vader turn off one light?
He prefers it on the dark side.
How does Spiderman do research?
On the World Wide Web!
Who won the race between the 2 ocean waves?
No one. They tide.
JOKES FOR KIDS WITH POTTY HUMOR
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What is a ghost’s nose full of?
Boo-gers.
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
How did the baby tell her mom she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail.
Ready for a poop joke?
No, they stink.
Something great about poop jokes?
They’ll make your cheeks hurt.
Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
What did the poop say to the fart?
You blow me away.
My love for you is like diarrhea.
I just can’t hold it in.
Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party?
She was a party pooper.
What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom?
A poo-dle!
What does superman call his toilet?
The Superbowl!
What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet?
Stinker Bell!
When is the best time to go to the restroom?
Poo-thirty.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to another?
“I’m feeling really wiped.”
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
To look for Pooh!
If you’re American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
European (you’re-a-peein’)
Why do people take naps on the toilet?
Because it’s a rest-room!
Which jokes did your kids like the best? Do you have any we should add to our list? Tell us in the comments below!
